January 17, 2007 by cosmoakacitizensmith
Scientists who had managed to genetically reconstruct Charles Darwin from samples of one of his ribs claimed to be “dumfounded” by his sudden suicide yesterday.
The newly-recreated author of The Origin of Species, the book which put forward the idea that humans have evolved from monkeys, had been on a speaking tour at several US universities.
He met US President George W. Bush yesterday afternoon during a stop-off in Washington where, in a private audience, the pair debated evolution versus the concept of Intelligent Design, (ID). This states that the universe is so complex it must have been created by a designer, i.e. God. It is believed by proponents of evolution to be no more than pseudo-scientific creationism, used to justify literal biblical truths.
However, after only a few moments of the meeting, aides of both Mr. Darwin and Preisdent Bush were shocked to see the scientist open the door suddenly, run at speed to the nearest window and deliberately jump 100 feet to his death.
His last words were “I got it wrong. It was supposed to be going forwards.”
A public inquiry is being opened today. Scientists are also debating whether to allow the genetic copy of Galileo Galilei, the Italian scientist who first postulated the world is round rather than flat, an audience with President Bush.