January 28, 2006 by cosmoakacitizensmith
I miss you, Bloke.
There’s a black vein of depression running through my life. Sometimes I get bothered about stupid questions: am I in the right job? What am I doing playing music? What am I going to do about money?
And then I realise it is not these things that are bothering me but the fact that you are dead and I’m never going to see you again. I seem to be transfering my grief onto other matters.
Actually in a lot of ways, things are going fine for me. Your family even live on the land that you told me you dreamed about the first time I met you. It’s just you aint here so it’s shit. For all of us.
This is the photo that upsets me the most. Not the ones of you with Sal or the ones with the kids who’ll never know you as adults, (whatever will I tell them?). Or the ones with you, me and Stan gurning away in Flannel photoshoots. It’s this one, of you doing something normal, like putting the milk back in the fridge.